I was watching The Real Housewives of NJ
Like I tend to do every Sunday night… (makes me feel like I am somewhat normal)
I once again had this one simple recurring thought:
(maybe because I personally am going through my own family/ friend drama right now?)
if only we were truly honest with the people in our lives..
& I am talking T.R.U.T.H. – not a “spare her feelings…kinda honesty”.
if we really had the courage to tell them, straight up with no consequences, what our real feelings are..
the good, the bad, the ugly, the sad, the happy…
how much pain, misunderstanding, resentment…
could be entirely avoided, I wonder?
Instead, things like egos, inner self preservation defenses,
the lack of respect & acknowledgment of the other persons perspective of the situation,
countless other miscellaneous factors…
get thrown into the batter.
making for one heck of a not too tasty cake to swallow.
& what ends up happening is one of two things I believe;
we either become primal,
we resort to man eat man…
gossiping behind their back, to elevate or justify our own hurt or misunderstood feelings.
ultimately doing everything we can to quash the legitimacy of our “frenemy”
to those we deem on “our side”
while we at the same time “pretend” to be “friends” …
Becoming an expert at the Jekyll & Hyde method of peer relationships.
Or, we are from the camp of people who believe lying, or “omitting” the truth
is for the “better” of that person or situation.
It is the easier way out…
rationalizing to ourselves, we say,
“It is for the persons own good…spare the feelings…
Why rock the boat? It’s not going to make any difference if I tell them what I think, or know to be the real truth?”
a person with such beliefs …always has “good intentions”
BUT, the one flaw,
they never factor in the simple idea, that
at the end of the day..now or later, that other person most likely will find out the real deal…
It is hard to say what is the better way?
I, for a long time now, have stuck to my guns
& am a true believer that,
anything less than the real deal…
is something I won’t tolerate.
Because, nothing I despise more than the self doubt it creates
when I ultimately find out (because I always do).
the TRUTH is always better
the first time around.
& worse…the feel of being made a fool…not something I enjoy.
when you choose to lie to someone or “omit” something…
you are treating that person as a subject, inferior to you..
you have also committed the ultimate recipe disaster..
taking away the essential “give & take” ingredient needed
to make a solid & easy family/friendship/trust recipe complete.
because, when you are anything less than truthful…
it is all take & no give…
setting the recipe up for failure from the get go.
As I watched the RHONJ, I admit my fascination with the dynamics of the people involved.
laughing to myself, wishing I could be a fly on the wall
just to see the faces of the Gorgas & Gudices watching the episode..
& reacting to the personal “interviews”…& the two facedness of it all…
& thinking, they both just don’t get it…
Be honest from the get go…so much “drama” & hurt could be easily avoided…
but then, Bravo wouldn’t have a must watch TV show…
I choose to be not tolerant of such people …or situations..
Sometimes the reality of loosing, friends, & family is the price I pay for
such a black & white attitude.
but I don’t waste my time on relationships where the give & take is off balance.
the truth….I have no inner strength at this stage of where my life is…
to cope with the bitter taste, of dissapointment & shame that
dishonesty leaves in my soul.
again…I am not sure this is the best way…
but it is the way
that I choose …
leaving me no real regrets (for now).
Maybe one day…someone will tell me of a recipe substitution?
NO LIE, IT’S THAT GOOD! CHOCOLATE AVOCADO CAKE
I am seriously warped enough to tell you, it’s up to you if you want to “lie” to your family about the surprise ingredient in this absolutely decadent chocolate cake.
That being said, I came about this recipe the other week, when I was on a rampage to make sure I use up everything I buy. That includes avocados that were rock hard, bright green when I bought them, just 24 hours before they turned black & soft, way to early.
With Thursday night ” Dinner with the Leibermans” back in full swing, it was the perfect opportunity to make a welcome home cake, that had a “healthy” twist to it. They are also my ultimate Guinea pigs…& I love them for it!
A few tweaks to one of my favorite chocolate cake recipes (the one on the back of the box of Swans Down cake flour) I had myself a really, cross my heart, honest to goodness beyond decadent, dense & sinfully rich chocolate avocado cake.
Topping it off with one of my favorite easy marshmallow frosting recipe (even though, this time my frosting was not so fluffy, due to a broken speed on my hand blender).
And for those dying to know, there is truthfully NO avocado after taste – trust me!
3 oz unsweetened chocolate, melted
1/2 cup coconut oil (or 1 stick unsalted butter)
2 1/4 cups light brown sugar, packed
3 large eggs
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
2 1/4 cups sifted cake flour
1 large avocado, cut into chunks (1 1/4 cup)
1 cup boiling water
Preheat oven to 350 F
Spray & lightly flour 2 – 9 inch layer pans
Sift cake flour into small bowl.
In a separate mixer bowl, oil or butter until smooth. Add brown sugar and eggs. Best with mixer until light & fluffy (about 3-4 minutes). Beat in vanilla extract & melted chocolate, baking soda & salt.
Add half the flour and half the avocado to the mixer, best till smooth. Then add the rest of flour & avocado and beat again till batter is smooth.
Pour in the boiling water, stir with spatula until blended. Your batter will be very thin. Pour into prepared pans.
Bake for 30 minutes or until tester inserted comes out clean. Cool pans for at least 10 minutes. Remove cakes, frost & decorate at will.