Nobody ever said being a fabulous and vital frum woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, etc. was easy! Thatʼs why Iʼm starting a new series here on Kosher Street called The Bright Side. Anyone that knows me knows Iʼm more than just a fashion-isha. Yes Iʼm a beauty addict….but Iʼm mostly addicted to inner beauty, happy people, positive energy and anyone with a desire to go outside their comfort zone to live their absolute BEST LIFE!
Everyone experiences discomfort in their life, sometimes even excruciatingly painful circumstances. But Iʼm a believer in the ʻbig pictureʼ…that every thing that happens is your own personal ʻgiftʼ from Hashem, custom made for you, in order to become the best person you can be. Think of lifeʼs challenges as the stair master for your soul…ouch!
My online life may appear glamorous, but I can tell you I have experienced just as much pain, frustration, feelings of inadequacy and failure, difﬁculty with children and marriage, confusion in ﬁnding myself, struggles with weight and body image and managing resentments as the next one. Through it ALL life can made beautiful through a positive attitude of gratitude for what you DO have and through acceptance of things that will not change. And you know what? Itʼs ok. That has become my new motto in life. My house is a wreck and my kidsʼ drawers havenʼt been organized in months? Itʼs ok. My husband is not so happy with me today. Itʼs ok. My kids are whining and ungrateful? Itʼs ok. Does that mean we sit back and do nothing? NO! The ʻedgeʼ that we feel when in discomfort should always propel us to work towards a better self.
Self love and acceptance of our own humanity will enable us to do what is necessary to improve in the areas that need improvement. Today I canʼt clean my house from top to bottom, but if I accept that itʼs not the end of the world I can then make a plan to maybe take a Sunday and focus on organizing one room at a time. There is no possibility for self growth if we spend all our energy feeling like losers and beating ourselves up.
And when the situation is out of our control and weʼve done the best we can? Then itʼs time to ʻlet goʼ; it becomes the other personʼs test to become tolerant. Understand that you are just being the shaleach for their own test for self improvement. Know you have done what you can and detach quietly. Just because another person is seething negative energy does not mean you have to be a participant, even if you love that person. ESPECIALLY if you love that person. You will be surprised what your spouse, children and friends are capable of if you ʻallowʼ them to face their challenges and stop taking responsibility for everyoneʼs feelings.
In future posts I would love to bring up real life situations and how to deal with them in a positive and productive way. That being said, if you have any question, dilemmas, or problems you would like addressed you can email me @ ask.fashionisha.com. All emails will be kept in strict conﬁdentality and all posts will be kept anonymous.
Looking forward to hearing from you…