How to help make your child resilient!
Who doesn’t want that for their child - resilience – the ability to deal with
life’s changes with grace , calmness and courage as opposed to crying, tantrums and complaining.
Here are my 3 Tips:
Disclaimer: No middah development will happen over night but these three things will put the odds in your favor. Remember -Tefilah – prayer is the most important thing!!
Tip One- ( Here is a tough one) Work on your own resilience! Your children have the best chance, if YOU are resilient.
Meaning= When the basement gets flooded, when u don’t get invited to the “in”
simcha, when your mother in law says something that you don’t like- handle
it with GRACE. Your children learn from u to be strong or petty. Be strong for your kids sake- They are always watching!
Rule #2 - The Phrase That Pays!
Gam Zu LeTova!
This is a phrase to teach children to say. Tons of bedtime stories illustrate that point. I find bedtime stories a great time to teach lessons. I am now telling a series of stories about Curious Gershon and the lady with the yellow sheitel. I’ll elaborate on a different post, hopefully. You can’t do it in a day = the same way you can’t lose 40
pounds in a day or gain muscle in a day. Resilient is a muscle as well and needs to be built over time. I gave a workshop on resilience to mothers and one e-mailed me a month later that after focusing on teaching this concept to her 6 year old , an incredible thing happened. Her son lost a very expensive camera that he worked all summer to get. He was crestfallen and devastated. Later in the evening, he turned it around and she didn’t know why? When asked, He explained ” Gam Zu Le’Tova”.
Tip#3 - ” Hashem loves me”-
When you put your kids tonight to bed , say Mommy loves you, Daddy loves you and Hashem loves you the most. (Not my idea but rather Rebbetzin Lori Polotnik.) No matter what happens in life – They have a constant- Hashem’s love even when their parents. When you get a good parking space say out loud “Look at how much Hashem loves us”. It gives children a tremendous sense of security when they have the awareness of Hashem’s personal relationship with them.