It’s My Birthday and I’ll….

Happy Birthday to me – 38 years today and all I can think is I feel like I have lived 3 lifetimes already.

I am so tired. But, I must get up and keep moving…keep moving..moving…

For the last few weeks as I have experienced, what to me, feels like a personal life crushing crisis I have not had the heart or the will to do … anything. Even cooking, my go-to way of relaxing, relieving stress and instant  joyous gratification, had incredibly lost all its appeal.

I have finally, after all the many crazy things I have gone through in my life, the last one being loosing my store that I loved so much 2 years ago, have been knocked out –TKO’d and the ref’s count is at 9 already.

But a dear old friend who has known me since before I was tall enough to reach the stove in my mothers kitchen, lovingly hammered home to me – there is no such thing as hiding from life. I must get up and keep moving. It is the only way to not just SURVIVE what life throws at you, but to do what seems to me now impossible, and actually start to THRIVE!

Even though all I want to do with every pore of my being, is to throw in the towel and stay down for the count, I will not CHOOSE that option today, my birthday.

So thankfully my day is packed with fun exciting things to do that I am actually for the first time in weeks looking forward to. Even though I know there will be moments in my day, where the truth of my reality will sucker punch me trying to knock me down, I will keep moving….

Chocolate Zucchini Muffins

Yesterday, I decided that the only person I was really depriving was myself, and I got back into the kitchen.

As I scrubbed my fridge clean, every swipe of my rag strangely making me feel better, thoughts of changes swirled through my head. Noticing some sad zucchinis whose last day was near, I decided to save them from a lonely end and zucchini muffins were now my new mission of the day.

I have made these muffins a thousand times in my store but never with chocolate. Thinking this oxymoron of a flavor ingredients, was the perfect metaphor to how I was currently feeling.The perfect way to start my first Sunday morning back in the comforting arms of my first true love…me and my  kitchen.

ingredients:

2 extra large eggs

1 cup sugar ( or for my diet version I use 1/4 cup sugar and 3/4 cup baking splenda)

1/2 cup oil (or for my diet version 1 cup apple sauce)

3 cups flour

1/2 cup cocoa powder

1 tsp. cinnamon

1 1/2 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. kosher salt

1/2 tsp. baking soda

2 1/2 cups shredded zucchini with peel on

pre-heat oven to 375F

In a large mixing bowl on medium speed, mix the eggs, sugar, and oil together. In a separate bowl sift together the flour, cocoa, cinnamon, backing powder, salt, and baking soda. Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet ones in mixer and combine well.

Spray your muffin tins well with non-stick spray and fill them with zucchini batter about 3/4 way full. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. serve warm or cold.